"Warning: The songs you are about to hear are intended for mature listening audiences only. If you have a weak mind or heart, and don't like words like shit, fuck, or cunt, then please refrain from listening any further."

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of SHAT. Perhaps more accurate advice than that listed above would be: "Refraining from listening would only be denying yourself of the most entertaining audio experience of the new millennium." Doubters be damned, believers be saved. SHAT is here to salvage your souls and the sorry state of modern rock n' roll.

SHAT is the natural extension of idiot-savant and true rebel icon, Jeff Wood. Jeff Wood, our generations Bob Dylan, or perhaps a James Taylor with a particular predilection for vernacular references to the more choice pieces of female anatomy, is obviously not your ordinary, run of the mill rock icon. Born a normal human in the Garden State of our beautiful nation, Jeff has lived a story book life (if the story were listed in the back pages of "Naughty Neighbors magazine"). It is a tale thjat is as intriguing as it is inspiring.

Several years ago, Jeff Wood, an already budding musical prodigy, was forever transformed into a modern day superhero when a stray bullet was lodged into his frontal lob as he stood by innocently and unknowingly during a gang war shootout in a less than friendly Los Angeles neighborhood. This in fact could have been the actual and factual true "Magic Bullet". Instead of killing Wood, it remained firmly in place as he lay bed ridden; the victim of a small plug of mystical metal that began manifesting and awakening previously unknown powers in Jeff Wood. As he relearned menial day-to-day tasks such as tying his shoes, he found that his musical gifts had not only remained unaffected, but had taken on the quality of a twisted uber-genius. Gone forever from his once normal brain were trivial thoughts and worries of the average mind, and replaced with a child-like primal mind driven by sex, food, and rock n' roll music. The transformation was complete, and the world was ready to be saved. Jeff Wood was the chosen one.

Thus, the true essence of SHAT, is the basic nature of life: fucking, feeding, and rocking like none other. SHAT is here to elevate the quality of today's bland music scene by writing songs with Mr. Wood claims consist of "nothing but choruses", as well as the liberal use of the word "cunt". SHAT songs are anthems for the average working man, the misfit miscreant in us all. Everyday people who work as laborers and lawn mowers can relate (with Wood's secret identity of being a common landscaper) to shared experiences as reflected in works such as "Fuck, I Stepped In Shit". Everyday maladies as told in gems like "Got A Zit On My Dick" take on new depths of meaning because, as Jeff poetically opines, it truly does "hurt like shit". And how can the true romantic in all of us not relate to "I Gotta Boner And I Wanna Bone Her"?

With live performances that are nothing short of legendary, SHAT (rounded out by diapered guitarist "SLOPPY SECONDS", and naked, penis-less drummer 'THE MANGINA") are poised to set the standard for live bands to follow. With antics too perverse and depraved to mention, and songs that will have you humming along for days whether you're in a brothel or church, SHAT has left audiences pleasantly traumatized, so to speak.

If "The Cunt Chronicles" contains the best of Wood's career in SHAT, it only serves to prove that bullets in the brain give one a supernatural access to musical gifts beyond that of other mortal musicians. Over the course of some 65 tracks, one cannot help but be converted into a SHAT believer. The masterwork that is "The Cunt Chronicles" will undoubtedly inspire legions of struggling musicians to wander the streets of Compton after dark in hopes of catching a hot, lead head wound and inheriting a modicum of the superhuman talent displayed in these tracks by Wood. Songs like the hilarious ode to breast sex, "Tit Fuck", the blazing rebel rock track "Fuck It", and the party anthem "Please Pass The Pussy" guarantee to convince the world that SHAT is the future of rock n' roll. The path has been shown: Lennon, Cobain, Wood. Jeff Wood is the musical messiah and we're all here to be saved whether we are prepared for it or not.

"Warning: The songs you are about to hear are intended for mature listening audiences only. If you have a weak mind or heart, and don't like words like shit, fuck, or cunt, then please refrain from listening any further."

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of SHAT. Perhaps more accurate advice than that listed above would be: "Refraining from listening would only be denying yourself of the most entertaining audio experience of the new millennium." Doubters be damned, believers be saved. SHAT is here to salvage your souls and the sorry state of modern rock n' roll.

SHAT is the natural extension of idiot-savant and true rebel icon, Jeff Wood. Jeff Wood, our generations Bob Dylan, or perhaps a James Taylor with a particular predilection for vernacular references to the more choice pieces of female anatomy, is obviously not your ordinary, run of the mill rock icon. Born a normal human in the Garden State of our beautiful nation, Jeff has lived a story book life (if the story were listed in the back pages of "Naughty Neighbors magazine"). It is a tale thjat is as intriguing as it is inspiring.

Several years ago, Jeff Wood, an already budding musical prodigy, was forever transformed into a modern day superhero when a stray bullet was lodged into his frontal lob as he stood by innocently and unknowingly during a gang war shootout in a less than friendly Los Angeles neighborhood. This in fact could have been the actual and factual true "Magic Bullet". Instead of killing Wood, it remained firmly in place as he lay bed ridden; the victim of a small plug of mystical metal that began manifesting and awakening previously unknown powers in Jeff Wood. As he relearned menial day-to-day tasks such as tying his shoes, he found that his musical gifts had not only remained unaffected, but had taken on the quality of a twisted uber-genius. Gone forever from his once normal brain were trivial thoughts and worries of the average mind, and replaced with a child-like primal mind driven by sex, food, and rock n' roll music. The transformation was complete, and the world was ready to be saved. Jeff Wood was the chosen one.

Thus, the true essence of SHAT, is the basic nature of life: fucking, feeding, and rocking like none other. SHAT is here to elevate the quality of today's bland music scene by writing songs with Mr. Wood claims consist of "nothing but choruses", as well as the liberal use of the word "cunt". SHAT songs are anthems for the average working man, the misfit miscreant in us all. Everyday people who work as laborers and lawn mowers can relate (with Wood's secret identity of being a common landscaper) to shared experiences as reflected in works such as "Fuck, I Stepped In Shit". Everyday maladies as told in gems like "Got A Zit On My Dick" take on new depths of meaning because, as Jeff poetically opines, it truly does "hurt like shit". And how can the true romantic in all of us not relate to "I Gotta Boner And I Wanna Bone Her"?

With live performances that are nothing short of legendary, SHAT (rounded out by diapered guitarist "SLOPPY SECONDS", and naked, penis-less drummer 'THE MANGINA") are poised to set the standard for live bands to follow. With antics too perverse and depraved to mention, and songs that will have you humming along for days whether you're in a brothel or church, SHAT has left audiences pleasantly traumatized, so to speak.

If "The Cunt Chronicles" contains the best of Wood's career in SHAT, it only serves to prove that bullets in the brain give one a supernatural access to musical gifts beyond that of other mortal musicians. Over the course of some 65 tracks, one cannot help but be converted into a SHAT believer. The masterwork that is "The Cunt Chronicles" will undoubtedly inspire legions of struggling musicians to wander the streets of Compton after dark in hopes of catching a hot, lead head wound and inheriting a modicum of the superhuman talent displayed in these tracks by Wood. Songs like the hilarious ode to breast sex, "Tit Fuck", the blazing rebel rock track "Fuck It", and the party anthem "Please Pass The Pussy" guarantee to convince the world that SHAT is the future of rock n' roll. The path has been shown: Lennon, Cobain, Wood. Jeff Wood is the musical messiah and we're all here to be saved whether we are prepared for it or not.